Created by: N.O.R.P. Inkerated
Email Us! Dorksat@comcast.net
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Hey baby, what's shakin! Pacific Northwest Seismograph Network
Thanks Boeing! Buy your J-Dam Missle here!
Age yourself, do you remember: Buck Rogers
Here's Buck's site: www.buck-rogers.com
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
Da'B says:
Let me spin you a tail of magic and mahem....
Hats says:
oh?
Da'B says:
It involes 2 characters
Hats says:
ok
Da'B says:
"Bob"...our knight in shining armor
Hats says:
Kernal Panic
Da'B says:
and
Da'B says:
"Betty"...the bitch in white
Da'B says:
"Bob" goes in for a teeth cleaning
Da'B says:
"Betty" think she only needs to numb up his lower gums.....
Da'B says:
lower gums clean...lets move to the top
Da'B says:
See Bob
Da'B says:
See Bob Scream
Da'B says:
Run bob...run
Da'B says:
BITCH!
Da'B says:
she only used a topical on my top...
Hats says:
see bob get poked in the ass with a hot poker4
Hats says:
because Betty thinks you are a wuss
Da'B says:
She finished...30 minutes later....and goes...oh, Hm....i see your knuckles are white....did that hurt? Maybe I should have used the juice..sorry
Da'B says:
BITCH!
Da'B says:
i'm SO gonna hurt later
Hats says:
i do not envy you
Da'B says:
and the best part....
Hats says:
did they find a cavaty?
Da'B says:
"Betty"....the bitch in white....likes to sharpen her tools in front of you once your in the chair
Da'B says:
scrape
Da'B says:
scrap
Da'B says:
scrap
Da'B says:
scrape
Hats says:
of all the things i encounter at the dentist.....I enforce these rules
Hats says:
1. no sharp instruments can be displayed in front of me
Hats says:
2. DO NOT sharpen those already sharp and dangerous pokey tools. they just don't belong in your mouth
Da'B says:
next time i'm gonna shut my mouth and not let her in there
Hats says:
just brush... avoid dentis as my significant other has done for over 7 years. DENY everything
Da'B says:
yes..i've been brushing like a little flossing ho....they were actually proud of me, they could see improvement in just the week since I've been in....
Da'B says:
GOOD...i wont have to go BACK ...EVER!
Hats says:
floss baby floss! and not the butt floss either!
Hats says:
doh
Hats says:
do you own a sonicare?
Hats says:
those things rock
Da'B says:
yeah..i have one
Hats says:
i have a system down. 2 wks prior to any visit... floss and brush, gargle and sparkle those teeth. they think im a goddess
Hats says:
then, get lazy and go to peridontist.
Hats says:
the first system works!
Da'B says:
it looks really "pretty" sitting next to my sink. Makes it look like I use it....
Hats says:
simply amazing!
Hats says:
too bad those aren't your teeth
Da'B says:
hey...at 10 billion strokes her minute...i'm afraid to use it
Da'B says:
it will like...remove the target off a elephants ass in 3 seconds flat I think
Hats says:
yup
Hats says:
and allows you to avoid Betty!!!
Da'B says:
correction
Da'B says:
"Betty...the bitch in white"
Hats says:
thank you.
Hats says:
sorry
Hats says:
well, all that pounding on my keyboard, do i sound busy?
Da'B says:
yup! nice sound file...where did you get it? imreallybusy.com?
Hats says:
yes
Da'B says:
mybossisadumbassandwontnoticethedifference.com
Da'B says:
clear
return to weirdness
URL's not in use yet
imgoingtohell.com
pullyourheadoutayourass.info.org
Purchased: stupidpeople.com
goingtohell.com/
Bad Company Logo:
StoolSoftener, Inc.
"Everything works out...in the end"
Memo to employees:
Please reframe from using the term "google me" while in the office.
Administration has learned this is code for having casual < insert keyword > in the bathrooms. The janitorial staff is now refusing to "clean up" after you.
Thank you for your cooperation
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
da'bastard says:
My friend was just telling me about this....
da'bastard says:
its your Prison Bitch
name generator!!!
da'bastard says:
my name you ask? "Ugly Skank Bitch Twat"
But what about the
Dutch Porn Name Generator?
or the Goddamn Rock Solid
Ghetto Shiznit Name Generator
Or WuName Generator
I'm the Prickly Comedian!
Best of all - Pirate Name Generator!
check this
Prison name generator
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
da'bastard says:
Our team will need to move all ads along with other ads deemed “unacceptable”
Hatty says:
yes
da'bastard says:
oh come on...so there is a STICK in the guys eye..what's wrong with that?
Hatty says:
gross dude, that sounds like showmeyourwound.com
da'bastard says:
they didn't look at the text under the ad...
da'bastard says:
"see jackass 2, the movie"
Hatty says:
what
da'bastard says:
what?
da'bastard says:
"Hey Bob...I bet you cant fit this hot poker up your ass?"
Bob...thinks really hard....
Examines poker...
"Why Bill...i'll take that bet"
Bill watches at Bob insert rod into anus
Hatty says:
can you spell hemoriods?
da'bastard says:
Bob looks at Bill...
"Bill?"
"yes Bob"
"HELP ME!"
"Bob?"
Hatty says:
bob?
where are you?
da'bastard says:
"......" <--- bob in too much pain to reply
da'bastard says:
"Bob, your a jackass"
Our story ends with Bob passing out from the pain of inserting
a hot poker up his ass. The only good think about this story
is Bob can nolonger spawn children.....thank god for small miracles
Hatty says:
Bob, you're JackAss begging for a Darwin Award!
May-ish
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
da'bastard says:
Ok
this has GOT to go on your site
MEDFORD, N.Y. (AP) -- A driver who refused police orders to pull over because he wanted to keep smoking crack in his truck was captured when he mistakenly drove into the police headquarters parking lot, authorities said.
da'bastard says:
Troy C. Stephani, 32, of Brookhaven, told the arresting officers he didn't pull over Saturday night because "he wanted to finish smoking the crack cocaine that he had in his truck," Suffolk County park police Lt. David Brewer said.
da'bastard says:
doh !! THIS IS SO FOR YOU
da'bastard says:
http://www.allergicdonorinfo.com/
donars needed..you can make $100 a pop!!
What are the benefits?
PAID compensation up to $100 per plasma donation
Free specialized laboratory testing
Free health care evaluation
Free donor screening
Exciting ongoing research programs
da'bastard says:
WOOHOO!!! Exciting ongoing research programs!!!
hatty says:
a definate must!!! Way too Exciting.
hatty says:
i met this person who was subsidizing his income by donating plazma
he was to only go in once a month due to lowering your t-cells and white cell counts.
so, he devised this "plan"
and went up to 5 - 6 times a month
doh!!!
hatty says:
it wore him out - go figure
041003
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
da'bastard says:
yeah....war dont mean anything around here now..ya topple a statue and nobody thinks it's going on anymore
da'bastard says:
doh
Hatty says:
i guess. hmmmmm what feed? slap em!
da'bastard says:
sci-tech news headline
The preserved body of Dolly the sheep, who gained worldwide
fame as the world's first mammal cloned from an adult,
went on display Wednesday at a Scottish museum.
da'bastard says:
OH BOY...LETS GO SEE!
that's sick
Hatty says:
i wonder if they have it displayed next to the worlds largest cheeto or the biggest ball of twine
da'bastard says: says:
Dolly Puffs...coming to a store near you
Hatty says:
squeeze the middle and see what prize poops out her ass.
da'bastard says:
now that's just Ba.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.d
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
Hatty says:
hey, you got that old training guide?
da'bastard says:
no, but here's the readers digest version:
toss'em a bunch of memos to read. then,
da'bastard says:
item #1: dont tell them...but TELL them you told them
da'bastard says:
#2: watch them panic
da'bastard says:
#3: save the day because you had the solution all along
da'bastard says:
#4: bask in the glory of being a hero
da'bastard says:
#5: have a good laugh with your co-workers because you've been doing this to the newbies for years ...
Hatty says:
doh!
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
da'bastard says:
"Bob?"
"Yes Billy?"
"I have a concern..."
"What's that Billy?"
"Well, yesterday I heard that Dr. Do and Snoop Doggie Dog were going to do an album together"
"What's wrong with that Billy?"
"Well, the title is giong to be Doggy Do"
"Billy?"
"Yes Bob?"
"Shut up"
"Oh..ok Bob"
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
da'bastard says:
> A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
> blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
> the space.
> Understandably, he shot her.
da'bastard says:
> When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended
> victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James
> Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the
> barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
da'bastard says:
> An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering
> from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
> received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see
> how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
sometime in march:
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
Hatty says:
man. there aint nothin going on
lets see,
headache
stomach flu
kid sick...
da'bastard says:
"bob?"
Hatty says:
#3
Hatty says:
"yes bill"
da'bastard says:
"i'm concerned"
"about what, Bill?"
"well...."
"its ok Bill...you can talk to me"
"well, i have this pain"
"where?"
"Bob?"
"yes, bill?"
"pull my finger"
Hatty says:
"fuck off, Bill"
Chapter 3
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
da'bastard says:
"Bob?"
"Yes bill...."
Hatty says:
bill
da'bastard says:
"how is QA suppose to test geo stuff...when they are not in the area"
"....."
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Thanks Bob"
"your welcome bill"
Hatty says:
a small flaw, you ask?
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
da'bastard says:
Feb 14: in a twist of fate that marvels the parting of the red sea,
the 1st ever clone baby, "Star" married her clone, "Hutch" on Valentines day in a private ceremony.
"We always knew Star loved herself, but we think this is taking it a bit far" said her uncle Bob
"the two brides reportedly wore Verra-Wang gowns recently bought at the Nordstrom womens sale"
Hatty says:
oh?
da'bastard says:
"They were just beautiful" said their Auntie N'. I just wish they had taken my middle name
"Then they would be Star-ski N Hutch"
da'bastard says:
doh
badda bing
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
Hatty says:
oh my gawd... my friend was telling me a story... about his trip
it's best told by him... humerous
da'bastard says:
?
Hatty says:
cruize ship.. night life.
bar... drinks
company party
having a good time.
dancing and a live band
well.... as the night gets on and the crowds get rowdy
da'bastard says:
yes?
Hatty says:
there was this guy who thought he was like Saturday Night Fever....
dancing fool so to speak.
da'bastard says:
cool, ok?
Hatty says:
he was strutting his stuff and dancing nasty like... the cool way
da'bastard says:
wahoo!
Hatty says:
and discovers that he can dance on a pole that was set center stage
like a dancer....
stripper...
da'bastard says:
8>0
Hatty says:
yeah. right. not!
but humerous none the less
da'bastard says:
eww
Hatty says:
well.. this chick, who obvoiusly does dance for a living... not in like ballet
da'bastard says:
Oh?
Hatty says:
decides to show him how to do this style right
and struts her stuff.
by this time the my friend and his cohoerts were watching
of course, go figure
so this guy... who was mr sat.night.fever decides to show her thing or two
da'bastard says:
(where is the handcuffs icon)
Hatty says:
well they banter like this for a few.
she decides to slide down the pole head first... in true dancer style.. no panties and wearing a mini skirt
well the guys love this
of course
da'bastard says:
DOH
Hatty says:
so the guy... not going to be stood up
shucks his pants and attempts to do the same.
in fine fine drunkin style
Hatty says:
and he isn't as graceful. attempts the same move, head first down the pole.
only a visual can describe the talent here.
and looses his grip, and smack down... pile driver onto the hard dance floor.
da'bastard says:
ouch, doh
Hatty says:
everyone is standing there in stunned silence
the guy passed out.
the guy was a bit of, well. not winning votes in the crowds
Hatty says:
he comes to, shakes it off. obviously birdies flying about his brain
security comes up... helps him get his pants back on
da'bastard says:
not his best
Hatty says:
and escorts him off
the girl... winning the votes... continues to do her pole dance
da'bastard says:
makes me want to go watch urban wildlife preserves <the clubs>
nice
Hatty says:
my friends watched in stunned silence with the other 200 or so folk there to party
da'bastard says:
they hall away Mr. Dumbshit..leave Ms. No underpants to do her thing
Hatty says:
yup
da'bastard says:
go figure
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"Of all the fractional resistances, the one that
most retards human movement is ignorance"
- Nicola Tesla -
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